Boredom as Inspiration?

One thing that has always made me think that I’m not a high-class writer is the fact that I don’t seem to get writer’s block. Well, not in the same way as described by my French Lit lecturer… L’angoisse de la page blanche – the anguish of the white page. I’ve met a few people who seem to feel drawn to write, like it’s something within them that’s pulling them towards a pen and paper and torturing until they produce, create, express. That’s what it seems like from what I’ve heard anyhow.

I am writing right now primarily because I have nothing else to do. If I wanted to spin a yarn, I could say that writing is indeed my calling and that I’m simply blocked by other pressing matters most of the time. Like the consumption of chocolate post-xmas, the task of integrating myself into my boyfriend’s family and the desire to prepare myself for my duties as the director of a play. Since I’ve become director, I’ve learned that the job should actually be labelled director/producer, or unfortunate slave to art.

Writing isn’t, however, my master. My secondary reason for writing is a sort of exhibitionism, I guess. Always in the back of my mind is the knowledge that I have a blog, and the potential of said blog to share my stories, of which I do have quite a few. I almost feel guilty for not writing more frequently – so many events have been missed and may be recalled in the future among friends and/or family, or they may not be recalled at all.

I’ve discovered the brilliance and weakness of the human memory in spending more time with my sisters. Small triggers can provoke deep-buried memories to surface within one mind, but not provoke a single reaction within another. I may remember the time we got up early and went bareback pony-riding but Eric may have completely forgotten. Then something could just as easily stimulate a memory of hers that I’ve forgotten. At first, I thought I had a superb memory, because I was the one being reminded by our gossip, but when I think about it, there are a lot of stories that I have been told about myself. I’m excluding alcohol as a factor here, by the way. Some of those memories should remain forgotten.

A stubborn man once told me not to waste my time learning something because my brain only has a certain amount of storage, and I shouldn’t waste it on drivel. At the time, learning was a bit of a tax and a bit too time consuming for my liking anyhow, so it wasn’t until my first holiday from uni in about two years that I rediscovered the joy of learning. If I take my time and conscientiously read something, I can retain the information and, as a result, learn something. Result: I got my heavy traffic licence within a week of deciding to sit the test. 100%

If I ask questions about things I don’t know, or don’t understand, or think that the person I’m talking to will know more about than me; and if I pay attention to the answers, I can eventually acquire another brain’s worth of knowledge. Of course, this would take a lot longer to do in completion, but after 4 weeks working with a man about 40yrs older than me, I ran out of questions to ask because I had already asked about and absorbed all the information I was obviously missing. Unfortunately skills can’t be acquired as easily.

This insight, too, was inspired by boredom. In the absence of uni, my brain has become bored enough to be possibly more productive than when it is deliberately provided stimulation and time to learn. Other factors I haven’t mentioned include the increased amount of exercise I’ve been taking, and the increased amount of time I’ve been spending outdoors – the great outdoors, not smog-filled cities. This could also feed the brain, I suppose. Back to my original question, though: does the fact that I’m writing this because I’m bored (and guilty) discredit it’s value? Perhaps it’s of lower quality than my other writing. Or the writing I’d have done if I hadn’t been so lazy when I had a true source of inspiration. I think, in writing, subject matter will make or break you. (Does learning interest YOU?)

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